Those Three Chapter 5

“Why are you crying?” Ronnie asks her.

“Because! I love Robert! I love him so much! But I am confused about my feelings right now! I feel so sorry and bad for you and want to be friends with you! I want to talk to you! But I don’t want anyone to think I want to go back into that sexual life with you too! No! That’s not it!”

“So you only begin to feel sorry for me? Oh, I get it. You loved Robert in the past too but you felt so sorry for me that you used me and fucked me.”

“No!” Lacy denied it. “That’s not true! I was confused about my feelings! I thought that I loved you both! I was a stupid young teenager!” Ronnie pushes her and she fell on the sofa.

“Cut it out! You know our relationship was never the same the moment you got pregnant by me and then miscarried! Admit it!” Something just made Ronnie wanted to say that to her. “I bet you didn’t want no damn baby and at that moment chose Robert because he couldn’t get you pregnant somehow! A perfect guy for you! You can fuck him all the time and not get pregnant! Wow! Lacy aren’t you a little too sex obsessive?!”

“You’re wrong!” Lacy wasn’t sure why Ronnie came over to yell at her. “In the beginning, I was confused on which of you I liked! I wasn’t sure but I felt like I was in love with the both of you! And then I started to realize who I really loved. I felt bad and couldn’t handle it so I denied the truth! I cried and was so frustrated with myself that I ended up having dreams after dreams of myself! Telling me that I needed to cut it out that I love Robert! Ronnie… I do love you too but not the love that…That you really wanted me to feel.”

“Lacy, do you miss when we used to hang together all the time? Going to stores together? Out to eat?”

“I do…” Lacy admits.

“You miss when we used to kiss? How about when we used to touch each other?” 

“No. I don’t miss that.” Lacy said staring at him. “I feel like I shouldn’t of done that. It was wrong.” Lacy got up from the sofa. Lacy brought her hand to her head. “I got a migraine. Why did you come over here? To yell at me? Okay, I am sorry.”

“Lacy, why do you love Robert more?”

“Ronnie?” Lacy stares at him and moves her hand from her head. “D-Do you still like me?”

“Answer my question first.”

“I love his personality. The moment I met him, he cared so much for me. I am not saying you didn’t care for me either because you did. But Robert… he made my heart beat the most. When I was together with him. I miss him when he isn’t around. I love his kisses. And most of the time I really love him in bed too. And I don’t mind if we get into little fights here and there because I love him so much.”

Ronnie turned around. Not facing Lacy. “Why do I keep holding onto the past? The past and I feel so hurt… Why can’t I move on? Why do I have to be so stupid and be angry with Robert and Lacy? I can’t force her to be with me? I told myself this before and tried to hold my feelings back but I felt so hurt and I kept crying…” Ronnie thought to himself. He felt ridiculous as he was there. Tears started to roll down his cheek. He couldn’t stop them.

“Are you crying? Are you alright? Ronnie?” Lacy asked feeling concerned about Ronnie.

“I am the one being the fool.” Ronnie thought to himself. He ran out of the house. Lacy was confused.

“Wait! Ronnie!” Lacy wasn’t sure what was going on with Ronnie but he seem to have personal problems. Ronnie didn’t care. He wanted to get away. He didn’t want no one to see him crying. Outside just started to rain. Ronnie stopped running once he got away from Lacy’s home. More tears still fell down.

“Lacy wants to be with Robert. I can’t force her. What she did and Robert… Lacy did a little wrong but she… She was still young and now wants to be with Robert. But I am still stuck on her… I hate love and don’t want to fall in love from being hurt… My first love.” Ronnie mumbles to himself. Footsteps came over behind him.

“Ronnie, you’re crying again. You been crying over two years haven’t you?” It was Stephanie. Ronnie turned and looked at her. She saw the tears coming down his face. “Ronnie… You’re in so much pain, aren’t you? I am here for you.” Stephanie said it in a way that Ronnie just wanted to believe her.

“You don’t understand it!”

“I understand a little. Robert and I… We were dating and when I was with Robert I fell in love. But I wasn’t supposed to be in love with him. I knew that I was only there to date him while he tried to cope with his feelings. His true feelings that he loves Lacy. And it hurt so much. I begged my mom to move us. And she did. I wanted to get away from having a heartbreak.”

“What?” Ronnie asks her.

“And the heartbreak was hard but then I started to have dreams about you. I remember telling Lacy before I left to let me have you. She was still in her denial stage. But… I wasn’t thinking too much either. Do you want to come to my place?” Stephanie asks. Ronnie didn’t know where else to go and didn’t want to go home and let Bryan see him upset.

“Alright…” Ronnie responds and tries to dry his tears.

“I don’t know what to tell Robert…” Lacy thought to herself. She felt bad about the kiss that Ronnie did. “I don’t even know how to tell Robert about it. I don’t want him to get angry with me. I didn’t want the kiss!”

Alana had gotten home. Max kept texting her a lot and she honestly didn’t know what to write him. She sat on her bed and looked at the last text sent.

Max’s Text: Alana, are you okay? Not feeling well? Are you running a fever?

“If he only knew… I can’t tell him though. I am too scared to.” Alana worried. She quickly texts back to Max.

Alana’s Text: I am fine. Just a little cold. It will go away soon. Love you.

“I can’t believe I lied. I don’t have a little cold but… I can’t tell him. Not yet.” Alana thought to herself. There was a knock at the door. “Come in!” Alana said and her step mom, Calluna entered the bedroom. She shuts the door behind her.

“Did you ever told your boyfriend?” She asks her. Alana shook her head.

“I can’t tell him. I am too scared and nervous too.” Alana looked down. Calluna could tell that she looked upset because of the frown upon her face.

“I was scared and nervous too when I first found out I was pregnant with Lionel. I was young as well. You can say I was a young mom and now I am going to be a young grandma.” Calluna laughed a little.

“You were young too? How did you tell dad? Was he angry?” Alana asks.

“Actually he wasn’t. But he was so sick and under a lot of stress at the time from his parents.  He was worried that the baby would be sick like him but he was fine. Lionel was born healthy. But when I was pregnant with Tj, things were difficult on me. The pregnancy was and I was for sure I was going to lose him. Lionel was getting upset and was in the hospital a lot too himself. And when I had Tj he ended up staying in the hospital for a bit. He was born a little early.”

“Wow, but Tj is okay isn’t he?” Alana asked.

“Well, he’s alright for now. But he is not completely healthy. That’s why I really don’t like him doing bad things right now. I am trying to work with him to stop smoking but that’s hard to do. But anyways, your father was really happy and excited that I was pregnant the first time. He was worried though. Worried that the baby might not be healthy but he was happy for me. For us.” Calluna tells Alana. “I am sure Max wouldn’t be the type to get angry with you and leave you. That don’t seem like his style.”

“I spoke to him before if I accidently got pregnant.”

“And what did he say?”

“He act like that he would be there for me to support the baby and me if that were to happen but…” Alana still looked upset as she spoke to Calluna.

“You don’t believe him?” Calluna asks her.

“It’s not that. Well… It’s… Some girls go through guys just leaving them once they find out they’re pregnant even if they told them before it happen that they won’t. I don’t want that happening to me. I don’t want to raise a baby all on my own.” Alana said sounding like she was going to cry.

“Raising a child is hard work. Especially when you’re young. It’s also hard if you have more than one. I had it rough trying to raise Lionel and Tj on my own. I didn’t really do a good job with them but I love them still.”

“Dad didn’t help you?” Alana asks.

“He was mainly busy with work or in the hospital. He had some free time and when he did he would visit me and them but it was a short amount of time. I knew he was trying to be fair and spend time with you too when he could.”

“I am sorry. I am sorry that my dad was taken from you, Tj, and Lionel and forced to have me and marry my mom before.” Alana apologized.

“That’s not your fault, Alana. You can’t control what happen. You can’t control your birth and how you come into this world. Your father wanted to marry me but was forced into a undesired marriage. But eventually he’s able to get a control of his life now and I am happy. I finally get to be with him and they can’t separate us anymore.” Calluna smiles a little.

“Is my grandpa and grandma mean to you?” Alana asks.

“Sometimes they can be a little rude because I didn’t come from a rich family and because I don’t have some amazing job or because my kids did bad things but… Your father takes up for me and that’s what makes me happy.” Calluna tells Alana. “And now Max, I think he will want to stay with you. In fact, I think he likes you a lot and would love your baby, well his baby too.”

“I want to believe that too. But… I am so scared to tell him.”

“You’re gonna have to tell him one way or another. There’s no choice in the matter. I have to discuss it with your father too. Now, are you sure you want the baby?”

“I do! I want to keep it even though I am scared!” Alana tells her.

“I think every woman or girl gets scared when they find out they’re pregnant. Now I let you decide what you want to do and I will discuss it with your dad soon. I am sorry about having to tell him.”

“It’s alright.” Alana touches the side of her face. “You think… You think the baby will look like Max?”

“You want the baby to?” Calluna asks with a smile. “I know that Lionel and Tj looks like their dad so do you.”

“But they look like you too.”

“You think?” Calluna asks. Alana nods. “Hey! We should go shopping for your baby! We can buy a crib and bassinet right away! Just the unisex colors will be fine. Like white? And when you find out the gender we can get more things.”

“That’s true.” Alana giggles a little. She was no longer frowning. Calluna wanted to help cheer Alana up. She didn’t want her to feel depressed and worried. Alana was still actually worried but was trying not to think about it. She wasn’t exactly sure what she was going to tell Max but she knew that she will have to find the words to tell him soon. And she wanted to tell him in person, not in a text. She felt that telling him in person was much more better. She could see his reaction even if it hurt. She was hoping he wouldn’t be angry with her or hate the baby.

Ronnie had gone to Stephanie’s home. He was sitting on the sofa by her. “You can tell me everything if you want to. I am not forcing you.”

“I don’t understand… How can I still feel feelings for Lacy? I want to give her up… I don’t hate her though I don’t want to hate her.”

“You don’t have to hate her.” Stephanie tells Ronnie. “You don’t need to hate her. I know you’re upset for what happened, I am too but I forgave Robert. I knew he was in love with Lacy. It’s best to let that person be happy. Move on and let yourself have time to heal. You didn’t get time to heal from the pain yet have you?” Stephanie asks. Some reason just talking to Stephanie made Ronnie just want to tell her everything. He wasn’t sure why but being near her made him feel some a little better somehow but like he wanted to tell her everything and he wasn’t sure why.

“I… I first met Lacy one day. Just looking out the window. And suddenly Robert and I were talking to her and became her friend. We both were so pissed off what that Steven bastard did to her and wanted to protect her. Eventually, we both ended up sleeping with her. She couldn’t tell who she loved more. She was confused but wanted to be with us both. It was rough but… Robert and I tried to stick around Lacy because we felt like we couldn’t leave her. Then Lacy… She told me that she suddenly realized her feelings but tried to deny them. She didn’t want to hurt me. And soon dreams kept haunting her and she knew it was then time to let me go and be with Robert.”

“Ronnie…” Stephanie stares at him with concerning eyes. She was concerned for him and felt bad for what he had to go through. It was much worse than her. Luckily, she never even slept with Robert. Not even kiss. All they did was hang out together. At first she used to think she loved Robert or had a crush on him. She was upset and tried to date Ronnie but Lacy wouldn’t let her. Then she left and helped fix her broken heart. Over time, Stephanie just didn’t feel love towards Robert no more. In fact, she realized that she didn’t love him. And Stephanie began to tell Ronnie that. How she began to feel and Ronnie was surprised to hear that from her.